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incredible Magnum. No! Think fast. Magnum. Wait, no! Magnum! Now! Oh! Come on! You got this, but you got to focus! Come on! Hansel, stop! You got this! Yeah! Maybe we could try a wash cloth? Tequila! Hansel, no! No! It’s not working! Ah, you’re right. What happened to us? You mean me. You still have it. No, I don’t. Look at this face. It’s a horror show. Come on, Hansel. It can’t be that bad. It is. Take off your mask. No. No way. No one’s ever seen me without this mask. And no one ever will. I think I know the real you. And it has nothing to do with the way you look. You mean that? Of course, I do. Okay. No! It’s disgusting! Put it back! I was wrong, please, put the mask back on! It’s so gross! I can’t be friends with you if you look like that! Please! It is so disgusting! Please, put it back! Please, Hansel, put it back, I was wrong! No. This feels good. Could you please put the mask back on so I can concentrate on what you’re saying? No! I’m done hiding. Look, there’s only one way for us to find ourselves. Know what that is? Look inward and connect with our authentic truth? No. I was gonna say become the two biggest, hottest models in the world again. Okay. Okay. So what say we get you cleaned up, shave that billy goat beard, go downstairs and show these punks what real fashion looks like? Oh, my God. Yes, dude! Yes! You guys look so lame. I love it, dude. You ninjas dressed up all old-school just to meet me. So Jedi. You guys suck. Both of you guys suck. You look great. Thanks. I’m Don Atari. What up? What up, Hansel? Yeah. That’s sick. Wait a minute. “I’ll call Billy Radios “. I just said that! I know. Like, minutes ago, right? Vip told me, so I made these retro shirts with your old catchphrase on it. Cool. Hey, let me introduce my collective, dude. They’re all losers, I hate these guys. We got TRS-, KITT Radios Rubik, my man Gleek. Eh, this guy gives the best ty tattoos ever. He’s a genius. His tattoos are so stupid. He’s the one who did my Colonel Sanders. Look at that, pretty epic, huh? It sucks, I don’t like it, dude. Why would I do this to myself? I never wanted this on me. I love it, dude. I got it when my grandfather died. That’s really cool. So, uh, what’s the deal with the show? Yeah, where do you want us to fire up this chainsaw? Colosseum? Trevi Fountain? Spanish Steps? What? No way, dude. Those places are gnar-gnar bo-bo. We’re holding it in an abandoned medical waste facility on top of an industrial trash heap. It’s totally toxic, but super chill. Cool! Sounds dope. Yeah, fresh. Oh, what? You guys are like, “Sounds dope!” “Fresh!” They’re doing the voices and everything! I didn’t think you guys would do the voices. That’s sick! “Sounds dope! Sounds fresh!” I don’t like you guys. It’s an honor to have you. Hey, retreads! I want to introduce you all to my muse and basically, like, the biggest supermodel in the whole world right now, dude. This is All. All what? We are All. So, are you like a male model or a female model? All is not defined by binary constructs. That’s cool. I don’t like labels, either. But I think he’s asking, do you have a hot dog or a bun? Do you have a wiener or vergiener? All is all to all. By the way, All just married hermself, dude. Monomarriage is finally legal in Italy. I support that. Derek, that’s pretty good, right? Uh, I’m sorry, are you not comfortable with people like All in the workplace or something? No. Of course, I am. I mean, like, if your son or whatever came to you and said, “Hey, Dad, I really want to marry All,” like, wouldn’t you be so stoked for that? Isn’t that, like, exactly what you want? Imagine All walking in, being like, “We’ll finally be together.” You’d be like hella stoked for that, right? Yeah. I’d be, like, totally stoked. All is done here. Atari. See you, fools. Guys, Alexanya Atoz is here! The show must begin now! Wow. Alexanya Atoz. They say she doesn’t walk. She just floats. She looks even better in person. Ah, I got those juices flowing again. Just put us out there. Let us do our thing. Come on! Come on! Chop, chop! Lay down, lay down! Get in, get in. Take off your robes. Go! Go! Go! Derek! I have a really good feeling about this. I know. I feel so alive! Oh! “Old”? “Lamé”? Ha! Yah! Quit it, All! Hot dog! It’s definitely a hot dog! All is done. “Prunes”? So let me tell you what I think worked. I think we got to shake off some of the rust. I was trying out a few new looks, although it might have been hard to see through all the dates, or, was it, you know, prunes? Hansel, are you insane? We were a joke out there. A total laughing stick. What do you want me to say? I mean, I know Radios I know we looked like idiots, but I’m trying to make the best of it! Knuck, knuck! Not now! We Radios You Radios Radios two Radios Radios vere amowzing. Deeryuck. Your fece so hundsome. Und, Hansel, so stemmy. Ridowkulously stemmy and hyot. I’m sorry. I can’t understand a word that you’re saying. I want to invite you to be my gyuests at the most elite fishion event in housetory. The IncrediBall. Oh, what! The IncrediBall? Is that like the Met Ball? No, sveet, stupid Deryuck. For the first time in the housetory of fishion, all of the most important designers will come together under one rureff. I trust you will be dere with your hyot and stemmy feces. Dudes. Holy Shazbot! What! You’re guys are gonna be the center-pizzle of IncrediBall! What does that mean? The center-pizzle of IncrediBall. That was bananas, Johnny. I’m done. What? Derek, what are you talking about? Did you not hear what they just said? We’re going to be the center of the IncrediBall. I can only pray that nobody from Child Services attended the show or I’ll never get little Derek back. What about all the attention? This is exactly what we were talking about! No, Hansel. It’s exactly what you were talking about. We don’t fit in anymore. Don Atari and All and that creepy little Vip! I don’t want any part of it! Derek. Derek! Derek! D-rock! Derek Zoolander? Yes. Valentina Valencia. Interpol, Global Fashion Division. Fashion Police? We’re clean, lady. Go harass somebody else. Besides, I’m out of fashion.
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